When you want queso, nothing else will do. We took our three-year-old grandson to a restaurant and ordered a large bowl of queso because we know how much he loves it. Imagine our surprise when the queso arrived and the sweet kiddo threw a huge fit and would not eat it. He kept trying to tell us why he was so unhappy with it and what he needed, but his limited vocabulary and hunger were getting in his way. He finally gave up trying to communicate and broke down in tears. That’s when the solution occurred to me.
I remembered his daddy sometimes picks up chips and dip for him from the local taco shop on his way home from work. Our little guy wanted what was familiar-a cup like his daddy brings him. Once the waiter brought a single serving of queso in a to-go cup, he was elated. That precious child stood up in his chair, with tears in his eyes, arms spread wide and said to the waiter, “Thank you! Thank you very much!” He was genuinely grateful to have been heard and helped.
Can you relate? Have you ever known what you needed but just couldn’t find the right words to say it? How about being on the other side of the conversation; did you know something was wrong but didn’t know what question to ask or how to help? This is commonplace not just with toddlers, but also in the world of domestic violence.
People who feel unsafe at home because they are victims or witnesses to domestic violence may not realize there is a name for it and help just a phone call or click away. When they do realize how serious their situation is, they may have difficulty finding the right words or courage to overcome fear and ask for help. Sometimes, it takes a friend, family member or coworker to identify a need for safety or counseling. Then, to take the next step and lovingly guide them to professional resources so they can make choices to be safe.
It’s ok if you suspect someone needs help and don’t know what to do. You don’t have to be a member of law enforcement or a professional counselor to give them a list of resources in their community. Just ask if they feel safe at home and, if they don’t, point them in the direction of help. One day, they may be the ones with tears and open arms saying, “thank you, thank you very much”.