We should have borrowed a truck to haul our purchase home from the electronics store. The clearance price on the surround sound home theater system was a bargain and the kids were excited to have a chance to watch Jurassic Park in a loud, exciting way. They put the box in the shopping cart quicker than you can say “buttered popcorn”. Loading it in the trunk, however, was a challenge. The box, no matter which way we turned it, would not fit in the family sedan trunk. Eventually, we took everything out of the box and each of us held part of the sound system (speakers, wires, packing styrofoam) for the 30 minute car ride home. Uncomfortable? Yes. Effective? Very. Don’t you wish all of life’s problems could be unpacked and broken into manageable pieces? Maybe they can.
Some people have the natural ability to compartmentalize difficult memories or feelings, while it is a learned skill for others. After a violent crime, some survivors are able to set aside disturbing memories and emotions in order to function as normal as possible. When a memory or anxious thought surfaces during the workday or at a family gathering, they are usually able to push it into a box and ignore it. Other survivors face the anxiety as it occurs, hoping to address it and forget it. Regardless of a survivor’s coping method, the ugly pieces of the incident require attention to make us whole.
For those of us who are box stuffers (my counselor’s phrase), we must be intentional to eventually unpack the box with the help of an experienced counselor. If we don’t, those feelings may might jump out of the box when we least expect it. Remember when the t-rex appears from behind the electric fence in Jurassic Park and chased the guy who had been hiding in the outhouse? I can promise you unaddressed memories will catch you off guard at the least convenient time. Becoming whole after a traumatic or violent event takes courage, effort and professional resources. WARNING! This process is not for the faint of heart.
An online search of the NIV version of the bible app revealed the word pieces is found 95 times in scripture. The word whole is used 386 times. No surprise really; making things whole was one of Jesus’ specialties. Remember, those loaves of bread and fish that were broken to feed thousands of people? They started out whole, were broken into portions and the remaining broken pieces were collected afterward. The leftover pieces were such an important part in the miracle that we are told the detail that 12 baskets were used to gather them (Luke 9:17). If leftover pieces of bread mattered 2,000 years ago, how much more do the broken pieces of our lives matter to our heavenly father today?
Are you or someone you know trying to fit memories of a life altering experience into a box? Let me encourage you to take your PTSD box to someone who is qualified to help you sort through the pieces, guide you through steps to become whole and teach you how to enjoy the many wonderful things that are still left in your life. Like the Jurassic Park novels and movies, your life story is waiting for a sequel.