“It’s all in the wrist.” I have been told this about billiards, bowling, burping a baby, knitting and candy making. After multiple tries at each of these, I can assure you it takes more art than skill to master them. For instance, the Never Fail Brittle recipe I used had its first failure with me. I have been making Christmas candy since I was 10 years old and, after my attempt at peanut brittle last weekend, I’m pretty sure I know where the phrase hot mess comes from. It applied to me and the gooey mess on my stove.
Call me old fashioned. but a recipe titled “never fail” should stay true to its name. If I followed the steps, I should have had success, right? This was not my experience. In hindsight, I think one person stirring and one person pouring would have increased my chances of success. At least no real harm was done that a scrubbing pad couldn’t fix. Unfortunately, some situations that appear simple can actually be dangerous unless the potential risks are disclosed before you begin. For example, there are very real risks that come with filing a protective order. The steps to file one are easy, the consequences vary.
Taking the Right Steps
This morning, a young woman asked my advice about getting a protective order against her abusive boyfriend. I chose my words carefully and asked if she had a safety plan for her arrival home after work. She didn’t, but she thought she needed one. I then offered to have her follow me to the Family Safety Center where she could get professional guidance and resources. She agreed and we walked to our cars.
Due to Covid-19 precautions, we parted ways for the rest of the day at the Center’s security desk. She went behind a door with incredible resources on the other side. There, she found professionals to help her form a safety plan and make preparations for the immediate future. I went back to my car and supported her the only way I could: I prayed for her and her small children’s safety. My friend made a short-term plan to keep her and her children safe. She then filed for an emergency protective order. I know it wasn’t an easy step to take and I admire her courage.
The decision to file a protective order cannot be taken lightly and the victim needs to prepare for what the consequences might be. I feel so strongly about this, I will be releasing an ebook this spring detailing the steps I took to survive before and after my decision to file a protective order. Since I was fortunate to receive advice from several professionals that allowed me to survive the retaliatory, I want to share what I learned to help others.
Going through the process of getting a protective order is a lot like cooking a big batch of peanut brittle for the first time. It can be dangerous and it definitely isn’t a one-person job. However, if you prepare, think it through and take it a step at a time, the peace of mind you achieve is priceless.