“Don’t blink or you’ll miss it!” In the south, this is a phrase of caution for travelers who might miss charming, little towns that are just blips on the google map app. These towns have the high school mascot painted on the water tower, one blinking traffic light and a weekly church pie social. Not tourist attractions from the AAA guidebook, but important to see, nonetheless. Travelling through life, there are little milestones not to be missed. They may seem small to most people, but to others, they mark a right of passage. Today, I blinked and almost missed one such milestone: my promotion from the kiddie table.
For years, I sat at a rickety card table with my cousins during holiday dinners. I was briefly promoted to the adult table when I started college, only to return to the little table when my sons outgrew their high chairs. If you have to ask why I had to sit between two little boys and a large bowl of mashed potatoes, you have no imagination. Eventually, they became young men and I returned to the main table with cloth napkins and real plates. One happy day, I blinked and we were blessed with grandsons. I voluntarily went back to the card table to sit between them and the mashed potatoes. Today, when we gathered for Thanksgiving dinner, I received my last promotion. I am now a permanent resident at the grandparent table.
Yesterday, my chair was strategically placed between our aging parents and the kitchen so I could help with plate refills. Directly behind me, the four grandkids were negotiating with their parents (who are sitting across the room at the adult table) for cake. Midway through dinner, I got up to take a few photos. It isn’t often we are all together and I wanted to catch a shot of our beautiful granddaughter chatting away with her cousins. Looking through the camera view, I realized my place will forever be at the geezer table. I know, I really need to work on a better name for the table. Something like “awesome adults” would be catchy. Whatever the name, I am proud to take my seat next to the great-grandparents and near the grandkids.
Through the years, moving from table to table represented my life’s changing roles. What I want to know is when did my sons earn their place at the adult table? It seems only yesterday I was wiping gravy from their faces and carrying those sleepy fellas to the car. Yet, today, they were laughing, sharing favorite Netflix series and offering to lend the grandpas a hand constructing a carport before they left. I have always prided myself on being “present” and cherishing every moment of life. How did I miss their promotion from the kiddie table? I must have blinked.
About five years ago, I was forced to turn my time, attention and resources away from my friends and family to face a time of stalking that led to an act of violence. Those six months consumed my time and energy. I still interacted with family and friends, but on a very limited basis in an attempt to shield them from the situation. In doing so, I became distracted and wonderful, little life moments slipped right by me. Truth be told, I let the unhealthy behavior go on too long before I sought professional resources.
Please learn from my mistakes and don’t allow threats or feelings of fear keep you from being fully engaged in your life. There is no need to struggle when help is available from so many different agencies. What may start as small acts of control can quickly grow out of control. The worst part? The situation will escalate before you realize the danger you are in. Don’t blink! Stay watchful for acts of intimidation and abuse. When you see the signs, address them right away. Seeking help will increase the chances of you, someday, sitting next to me at the survivor table.